I didn’t release a letter last week because my eyes were glued to the news (or, I should say, my phone, which is where I consume most of my news these days.) Protests are happening in all 50 states and social media has never been more focused on one singular issue. Books on racism are sold out on Amazon, and soaring best-seller lists. The world is changing.
I’ve wondered how to use this platform during this time, if at all, and I’ve settled on the decision to share what I’m noticing and what I’m learning with my handful of followers in the hopes that it inspires you. I also plan on sharing some resources for those looking to get more involved, or to do some self-education. Hopefully that helps. Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you continue.
On Protesting and Riots
I want to talk about the riots and protests, two different things that have caused a lot of controversy, at least among a handful of the white people I come into contact with. Things like, “the riots are too violent” or “the protests instigate violence” frequently come up. But bear with me for a moment: The protests are not violent. They are quite peaceful. When they do turn violent, it’s often at the hands of the cops. Riots, while frightening, are an emotional response to extreme injustice. In this case, murder.
Neither is nothing new. Both protests and riots have historically been used to draw awareness to deep-seeded injustice and energize substantial change. Of course there are riots and protests right now. Of course people are sad and angry. We are failing Black people, and we are failing them again, and again, and again. Rather than punishing or ridiculing those responsible for the riots, what if we looked at the reasons why they are so upset, and do our best to empathize? Riots are not the problem—racism is.
That said, the riots seem to have subsided, and every single protest I’ve seen in Los Angeles (there are upwards of 10 a day), has been emotional, powerful, and peaceful. This is the work toward justice: We are drawing some much needed awareness to the racial inequality of our country, and we are doing so in a way that might actually create a difference.
On Dropping the Ego and Unlearning Racism
I‘ve grown up with a lens of whiteness. All white people have. And yet when Black people tell us time and time again that they are hurting, that they are being treated unfairly, we immediately meet them with defense, judgement, denial, or interrogation. We say things like, “But what about ______?” or “I’m not like that.” Maybe we make the story about us. We feel that them explaining their experience is a direct attack on our character, and since our feelings are hurt, we stop listening.
But, as has been stated time and time again, this is bigger than our feelings. Acknowledging the racism in this country is uncomfortable work, but that discomfort can be used as motivation to make a positive change. I know I have so much to learn and I’m not trying to parade like I’m this holier-than-thou woke white girl. But I am open to learning and I want to encourage my white friends to also be open to learning, even when it feels hard or scary or like it’s an attack on who we are. Be open to being wrong. Be open to dropping your ego and acknowledging you will not have all the answers this time around. Become a better ally. Doing so will unite us.
Yes, the world is in a scary place right now—but it’s also one that is full of potential. Instead of focusing on how the current circumstances are scary for us, I urge you to consider how scary things have been for Black people for their entire lives, and use that as the fuel to work toward a place that feels safer for us all.
A friend told me the other day, “I hold the intention that we are entering a new way of being.” I hope for that, too. But in order to get there, we have work to do. IMHO, this work requires:
Going inward and looking at the ways we as white people are complicit with racism. I’m sure this sentence turns a few people off, with their initial reactions being, “But I’m not racist!” But if you are white and grew up in America, you were born and bred in a world where racist ideals reign supreme. And the idea that white is superior has, at least to some degree, eased its way into our subconscious, and it takes work to remove. In a recent issue of her newsletter Maybe Baby, Haley Nahman says that we must be doing the following:
Constantly assessing our role in institutional oppression—whether that means vigilantly questioning the systems we’ve been taught to trust, challenging our assumptions that we are “the good guy” or “on the right side,” or examining how we move through the world in contrast to someone with less privilege.
Support. By donating, promoting, or showing up.
Education.
Education is the door to understanding. And it looks different for all of us—some people love to read, some of us like podcasts. But I think it’s important to dig into some tools before we start to tell other people what to do or what to read. So, rather than me pointing you in the direction of what I think you should read / watch / listen to, I’ll take my own advice and just highlight the things that have resonated with me.
I’m watching and listening to:
EP121: White People of Taylor Nolan’s Podcast “Let’s Talk About…”
Treacherous Waters, an IGLIVE series by @thecollectress and @halfpintmaggie
Rachel Cargle’s Public Address on Revolution
Layla Saad’s 60-Minute Course: How to Show Up in BIPOC-Only Spaces Without White Centering
The Hate U Give
Little Fires Everywhere
I’m reading:
White Fragility by Robin D’Angelo
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
Such a Fun Age by Keily Reid
Salt by Nayyirah Waheed
Beyond the Hashtag: How to Take Anti-Racist Action in Your Life
What’s My Complicity? Talking White Fragility with Robin D’Angelo
I’m following:
@taymocha, @moemotivate, @rachelcargle, @ihartericka, @hailethomas, @laylafsaad, and @raquelsavage.
Finally, New York Magazine has a comprehensive list of organizations accepting donations, divided in a way that allows folks to understand and choose where their money goes.
As always, I love, love, love you. Let’s love one another.
xo,
Amanda
My thoughts on the protests, white fragility, and etc..
Amanda, thank you for the wonderful words. Another essay well worth reading... by Larry Fitzgerald in today’s NYT sports section. He quotes very insightful words from MLK Jr’s speech, “ The Other America”. Actually, almost all opinion pieces in the Times today hit the mark, like you and Larry have. Again, thank you. Love, Marty